End of Season Special

Big games, big games. A final home league game with everything still to play for, followed by a semi final. Happy days. Me and the lads have ordered a new periscope in for the match today, don't want to miss this, bright green fence or no bright green fence. It takes me back a bit, haven't been this excited since that night our lass won a line up the Top Club. From the dark days into the light, it's been a long wait so let's hope we don't trip over these final few hurdles, he says optimistically. But why should we? Surely got enough off for Ryton, haven't we; not as if they beat us 5-0 a few weeks ago is it? Is it?

To more cheerful thoughts, where is the end of season do and why hasn't it been announced yet? Surely not because that dozy secretary nearly booked a club the day before it went bust, despite Ozo giving him the warning? He wouldn't be scraping round for an alternative at this late stage would he? Would he? You bet he would, looks like it could be a pie and pea night in the Farmers if you are lucky lads; what a way to celebrate the club's best season since the old King died. Mind, do not underestimate him, there could be a surprise up that sleeve, and what about this trip to Holland, is that organised yet? Or is he still waiting to see what happens? Draw your own conclusions.

At least the council have coughed up for some ground improvements or so I hear. New gatehouse, put that missing roof back on, tidy up the hardstanding, and more fencing. Not the green stuff I hope, let's take the club forward please. Does this mean they are having second thoughts about a new lease?

Whatever happens this week it will soon be back to the calm warm days of summer. Just the sound of the sprinkler to break the silence, I can't wait, missing you already...

April's view

Those April showers, they bring the flowers....

They certainly bring plenty of greenery round here, what on heaven or earth is this new fencing about? Who's idea was that? Can't see a thing for bright green scaffolding mesh, we are going to have to pinch some ladders to see a match.

Twenty five years of peace and quiet, week after week twenty people in the ground, twenty out, and now all hell is let loose just because the boys manage to win a few. Hammering and banging going on, and shouting and bawling, and men carrying new lavvies in. League Management Committee turning up in force, most of whom haven't been to Ryhope since the war broke out, measuring the pitch and the height of the bar and the size of the changing rooms, counting seats and wanting to know why they are not numbered; even the manager had a shovel in his hands at one point, not for long or much use though but. Bring back the good old, quiet old, just me, the lads and Defty, days I say...

Mind you it was nice to see a good few Gentoo types in helping with the painting the other day, some bonny lasses among them I noticed as well, and so did the chairman by the look of him, he got very frisky round that cross bar challenge he put on. God may love a tryer son, but the sentiment isn't always shared by the fillies I find...

So what is happening with this Penrith cup game? Either Penrith has moved to the rainforest this last few months or they must have got scared the other week. How many times can a game be called off without changes being made? Still at least we are still in a cup in April, it's normally all over by October, what would we do if we won one? Can't remember anybody worrying about a trophy cabinet before now, can you?

And what happened at Ryton? 5 zip! Should make the return interesting, if you can see it of course. No doubt Ozo will be expecting a crowd of 500 to turn up and be disappointed again, he never gives up that lad. So two more here, two more away and then maybe, just maybe, we can all look forward to boatloads of Spenny and Bay fans with banners and chants and who are yer descending on the place. That will please the neighbours...

March's view

March comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb; behopes thats not right then, cos it looks to me like lion fighting is the order of the day for the rest of this season if we want to get up.

Lot of tough games, most of them away, and no sign of Shields, Whickham, Thornaby or Ryton giving up just yet. And why are so many of these games away still to be played I hear you ask? From my useful vantage point over the home fence I will tell you why. Wind, rain, and dodgy pitches, that's why. Many people, me included, have been known to call the Meadow Park pitch, however, the lads have had ten games called off this season, but not one at home; credit where credit is due, those boys from the council might love the Welfare more than us, but they have done their bit down here this season. So a big hand for Derek Richardson, Keith and his lads, don't think we have even had to have a pitch inspection yet this term, well done!

Mind, I don't suppose anybody was complaining when the game at Penrith was called off on Tuesday night. Blowing a gale, raining, and riding in a mini bus over the A66, swaying about all over the road, driver too busy talking too watch where he is going, and only knows two speeds, flat out and stop. They tell me now it has been called off twice the league can give us home advantage, don't hold your breath. Sighs of relief all round, especially from the driver, who, so I hear, might well have spent the afternoon watching Cheltenham instead; the working class can kiss my ....

Back to playing matters; tough game against Norton from what I could see, blowing a gale and both sides played better up the hill and into the wind; and has that centre forward had his feet welded to the ground? 6' 3" or something daft, and he jumps 5'10". Notching a good few though, keep this up and we might even have a second division leading goalscorer at the club; now I bet that hasn't been done, not even in my day, go on my son, Defty can afford it....

February's view

The boys over the fence are certainly looking forward to the Esh game, seems like, err, a lifetime since we saw some action round here. And looking forward to the game despite everybody in here having wet feet at the minute. A problem with the drainage? I should say so, Defty is walking around shaking his head every day, that top corner is damp alright.

Still, the Thornaby game was good, those lads will take points off a few people for us I have no doubt, and I hear good things about the trip to Guisborough, a gutsy display, and eight off the belt can't be bad. Some bad things as well though, with the boy Owens and Hicker doing Keith Harris and Orville impressions and the ref, who some reckon was doing Frank Carson impressions himself, taking a dim view. It sounds like this upcoming zero tolerance campaign could cause Hicker a few nightmares. Some wise old bird reckoned he was mellowing a couple of games ago; don't think so, only when we are winning, and winning well, and the officials are getting it right or agreeing with him, which amounts to the same thing, he says. Speaking of ventriloquism, which somebody over there must be, if you ever get the chance to see Roger De Courcey and Nookie Bear don't miss it, talk about they died laughing...

Some funny rumours going around about ground "improvements" to be taking place over the next few weeks. Not an improvement as far as I'm concerned if I can't see the game, and we won't be able to if they fill in the fence. League rules apparently for the First Division possibles, even dead men can't see a game for nowt! And shy refs need not just their own loo, but far away from prying eyes, funny that from what some say are a bunch of exhibitionists normally; I don't agree of course, trappists to a man, IMO.

Regular visits from the council suits nowadays, which is always entertaining, they don't like to travel alone those lads do they? But will anything happen? Tell me the club is finally going to put in for planning permission for the new clubhouse next week, do you think that might rattle a few cages? I only ask...

January's view

(Posted just before the Stokesley match.)

Well, its nice to see you all back, so what's happened over the holidays? Nothing I hear you say? Just lying about, eating mince pies and improving the club's position in the league without bothering to play a single game, a fantastic manoeuvre I say. Will this catch on? No more moaning from footballers about having to play on while everybody else is on the lash, just get all the games called off, go down the pub, watch a few games, back a few horses, and meet up again three weeks later, refreshed, renewed and ready to go. Brilliant, I tell you, this man Hixon must be a tactical genius! Been quiet up here an'all, but it brightens up when those new bulbs go on, them are what you call floodlights. Looking forward to the Stokesley game, but you better bring a bucket and spade, there's more sand than grass, and all you can hear from the boy as he does the job is complaining about somebody sending internal civic centre emails moaning about the pitch, who could that possibly be?. I hear the workforce is a bit depleted this week as well, Pop and Tim the photographer on the Pat and Mick won't help Defty's temper if it gets bit busy in the clubhouse, or if that pie doesn't turn up. Ozo can always chip in by serving instead of schmoozing with the opposition, do you think those jam tarts from before Christmas will really be all right? Good enough for the committee...

More changes afoot in the team as well, with a couple of new boys on show, its like a revolving door into that changing room. The boy from Blue Star sounds promising, the club must be going up in the world signing boys from two leagues above, but will he be on show against Stokesley, tell me he has some navigation issues...

Merry Christmas from the Cemetery

A Very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year to you all, from your good friends over the fence in the always here, cemetery freelance supporters club.

So, well, well, well, what could possibly go wrong now? Is this the best it has ever been come Christmas in Ryhope? I speak only of football of course, as no one should underestimate the capacity of Ryhope's finest, and not so finest, to enjoy the festive season, which, it seems to me, runs from September to August hereabouts. But I digress, and swiftly back to the football, so I say again, best ever at Yuletide? Few old boys shaking their heads at that, including a good few residents in here as it happens. But if not best ever, certainly best for a good few years, which is why those same old boys are in here. By my reckoning the club could well be on course for the best end of season position since 1987/88, touching several pieces of wood, not hard to find; and anyway that was the season when the club was relegated from the First Division after our only four seasons in the top flight!

Since then 19 years of not much, a highest place of ninth, and six seasons in the bottom five. Most ever second division points 59 in 2001/02. So, not a lot to beat really?

Only 15 League games so far under the new management team, and disregarding the two beltings in cup ties, thankfully both away games, it seems like every game a win, and some good football being played, and by a settled side where the fans have half a chance of naming more than one or two. Nice competition for goals from the front men, which includes the wing back, some system this. The little Scotsman not shouting as much as before, guess they must feel like his lads now. The manager quite calm, only shouting "Mossy / Wayne / Gary, what you f***in' doing?" twice a game now. A nice new light for the car park, didn't look like council workmen doing the job mind, would have took them a month to dig that trench; only joking lads. And fairs fair, the car park being worked on, and fencing being repaired by Sunderland Council's finest, and the pitch is holding up well too, thanks to the same outfit.

Ozo's boy the first fan to wear a nice new replica team shirt (buy your loved ones theirs for Christmas, luvvly, jubbly, best on the market, you'll be the only one on the beach in Benidorm this summer; you know it makes sense), but by the sounds of it the Secretary hasn't seen the money yet, not likely to either from the senior one of that ilk. Claims he is paying the expenses for the young un's...

But where is this new clubhouse? And, pending same, what you going to do about the ref's netty, which has the gentlemen of the league management committee, always mindful of the comfort of officials, so exercised? And why have you got to board the fence so we can't watch from the cemetery? And where are the bobbies when you need them?

Sounds like still more questions than answers, and when that's the case the only answer is a drink. I won't join you, but raise a glass for the lads, the lasses, the fans, the foes, the good times and the bad, enjoy the holiday, keep your family close, and then let us see what the New Year brings. Cheers!

November's view

I like November, it feels like the start of the proper season. Night games with the lights on as you arrive, wearing a proper coat, watching your breath freeze; it all feels right somehow. And with the dark nights at last, we thought it would be a relief and a chance to get some peace and quiet, but no chance. The night time wrecking crew continue to invade the cemetery, with a recent enthusiasm for smashing bottles proving a nuisance both inside here, and over the fence on the pitch. Ozo has been on the phone to the forces of law and order but not a lot happens. A decent spell of bad weather is what we need now, to drive them back indoors. Generally speaking I'm all in favour of this global warming but sometimes...

It's still all change I notice on the pitch for the first team, there's new faces every match, and some strange ones amongst them, but the five games at home this month have produced 17 goals, so at least it's entertaining. Bit of movement going forward as well, and a few more faces in to see the games. Nice new coats for the off field staff I see, but how come every under 18 sub and Ozo's boy has got one and the Secretary hasn't? I only ask...

Usual motley crew on a Sunday morning, hung over, seedy and much the worse for wear; and the ones who aren't playing are even worse. Got me thinking about all day drinking, not that it does me much good, and fondly remembering long before it, when Sunday dinner time was the best session of the week; game on the morning to clear your head, everybody changed and the ground empty two minutes after the ref blew his whistle, and then, in the next two hours you had to fit in a domino handicap, three blind cards, a game of pool, killer, watching young women, or anyway women, taking their clothes off in the concert room,
the Kershaws prawn man flogging his dodgy wares, eight pints, toxic saveloys off the bar that you knew you would still be able to taste on Wednesday so you resisted until after the fourth pint when somehow they looked lush, long arguments over who scored our fourth and who's fault their fifth was, post mortems over goings on in Annabels the night before, including highly enhanced descriptions of the quality of the females concerned (no mobile phone photo evidence in them days m'lud), and futile promises to "up the training regime" this week. Then out on your ear by twenty past two because "the staff wants thez dinners an'all yer naa" No wonder you needed a lie down on the afternoon. Happy days. Now on a Sunday morn half of them look like they have come straight from the night club, and no one is in a hurry after the game because nowadays Sunday afternoon starts with the match on Sky at four o'clock. It's a bloody disgrace.

October's view

Sorry for the delay, but things been a bit busy round here lately, with the junior late night drinking club particularly popular of recent weeks...

Anyway, it's all happening over the fence, not to mention on the fence, with a couple of mad optimists fitting banners the other day. They look very burnable to me, and I think the local arson group will be testing them out soon enough. Defty just shakes his head.

Over the other side, well, the little scotsman is a character isn't he? Lot of noise he can make when he is not happy, which seems to be most of the time with his new charges. Sounds like he knows what he's talking about mind, but is anyone listening? And can they understand a word he says even if they are? Got to be an improvement though, with his pedigree. And they do look like a proper partnership, him and the other bloke. But is the other bloke the manager, or the little scotsman's minder or what? You wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley, looks like he could handle himself...

Plenty of other new faces, and a few long ones amongst the current playing staff, so change is obviously in the air. That's the way it is in football, prove your worth or move on. It's in your own hands son, as my old manager used to say to me; just before he chased me that was. And an obvious improvement on the pitch, the boy who sounds like a toilet cleaner and has a very bad head, he can play a bit; although I'm pleased I can't get to away games, sounds like a shocker in Seaham the other week, and won't our local friends be pleased about that. But don't get mad, get even, is my motto, so let's hope we play them again sometime soon, eh?

And what is the story with this corned beef pie? Looks like enough to feed half of Africa when the fat lad carries it in, but it's all gone by kick off and the punters get palmed off with a hot dog; too many officials digging in is my guess, and that photographer looks like a right good gruffer...

Bigger crowds lately, which is nice, and none of my business I know, but how many people does that daft Ozo let in for free when he's on the gate? Defty would charge the players if he thought he could, while Ozo thinks everybody is a potential sponsor. The talk around here is that the club is just a front, but a front for what? Thats what we want to know, and I'll keep peering over the fence...

Pre season 2007/08

Whassup?

Back in the old groove again; some of us never got out of it of course.

Spent the summer watching Defty with his shirt off watering the pitch in the rain. Looking good, but the grass was a bit long for the fancy dans from Durham when the pre season action started here. Better for Red Star, and a good game. Looks like we can only win friendlies away, hope that’s not an omen for the season, given I don’t get to many. Never mind, first trophy of the year won up the bank the other night, nice to see, but where will it go? No trophy cabinet in the shed, sorry clubhouse, they’ve never needed one before now.

A few new faces on show so far, but some not seen yet, and only two games to go before the real stuff starts, Will Saturday’s line up be a clue to the first choice eleven? Or just a clue to who has turned up?

Pity that the FA Cup and Vase ties are away, would have been nice to see the boys back in national competition action again, so we just have to hope they can win a game or two and bring the crowds back to Meadow Park for later matches. And at least the turn out has been decent for the home friendlies, lets hope that’s a good sign for the season; as long as no one starts standing on top of the bank blocking the view!

Good gaggle of council blokes the other day, must have been half a dozen of them, plus a neighbour sticking his head over the wall wanting to know when his fence was going to be fixed; don’t hold your breath sunshine, is my advice.

Rumour has it that Defty wants a cooker fitting in the canteen, reckons he has been watching the telly and can do a nice pasta for after the match if only he had the equipment. I don’t know whether the Red House boys will be up for that.

So, roll on the real stuff, even if we don’t see a game here until Bank Holiday Monday, I’ll have to have my spies on the road.

End of season view

So a summer of peace and quiet for us lads up the bank, then back into it next season with the Northern League. Didn't look likely at Christmas did it? Looked like the Wearside League if we were lucky, Northern Alliance if we weren't, and then how long would it have been until the Council found an excuse to turf the club off Meadow Park? Not long I reckon, so there might be some weeping and wailing down the Civic after the big escape!

Funny season all round you might say; pre season last year was OK, good turn out for the Alan Thompson memorial match, and things looked good for a sold season. Then bang, reality bites, with 13 goals shipped in the first two games, players coming and going but little sign of life until November, (more life up here some think). New signs round the ground, fights with the neighbours, a new pie sponsor, chairman takes his leave (but still tries to get in without paying mind), assistant manager spends more time in India than Ryhope, and the manager goes AWOL for a fortnight, leaving the lads listening to the Deft's words of wisdom, and finally Pop gets left behind by some useless b*****d and threatens to pack it in. Players missing through injury, work, holidays ... manager ends up in goal, and club has three points deducted, what was that about?

But through it all some real progress, with a great run of form in the middle of the season really lifting things as players showed what they could do when the inspiration was with them, with good performances by some new faces and some old stalwarts, and from front to back. The Cemetery Lads players of the Year? Well, Mossy was a big boost as soon as he came in, and Si should have got more games up front, Buts is frustrating, but makes them think and Marcel is nearly as cool as his dad. But it looked like everybody had their day, just need more of them and more often. next season has to be better, otherwise this could be the death of me...

April's view

So, right down to the wire, eh! Still not settled how things are going to finish for the season, and now we know there is almost definitely one club coming up, Birtley Town from the Wearside League; at least they have been trying for a while, and its not too far to travel, for those who can travel, almost counts as another derby match. Good luck to them, and lets just hope we are still there to welcome them into the Arngrove Northern League for 2007/08. I'll not be going anywhere in a hurry, that's for sure. I'm sure we will be, the fight was there against Thornaby, just still wanting a bit of luck in front of goal. I hear Thornaby were hands down the best free tea drinkers seen at Meadow Park this season, biggest so called committee ever! I also hear it was a different story down their place, just make your own tea in the corridor son....

Looks like I was right last month about this Unibond business, with the FA offering inducements to clubs left right and centre to get them on board, might still be a big scramble for places I reckon, cos if half a dozen go, well, there's safety in numbers is what a few will be thinking. So maybe the ANL will be looking for more clubs to join the ranks in the next year or two, and where would they come from? Not much about in our neck of the woods that's for sure, at least in the way of clubs, although there are grounds lying empty or half used that should be supporting Northern League football, Eppleton, Murton, and a few others. Good job we can rely on our go ahead, ambitious local councils to be thinking all the time about how they can support the beautiful game and the clubs making it happen.....

Pip, pip till its all over.......

March's view

Is this what Sir Alex calls squeaky bum time? Good run of results followed by a failure to score goals costing us dear, and now even Alnwick have started to pick up points. Steady ship needed through these last few weeks or it could still be the big drop!

Of course whether anybody goes depends on the antics of the boys at Soho Square; is this new Unibond North going ahead or what? I'm betting it does and, if it does, I'm betting more than the three clubs mentioned so far will get the call to try their luck along the M62 corridor. Good luck to those who go, but what's the odds some will be back soon enough with tales of broke down buses and dodgy pies?

Speaking of broke down buses, I hear the trip back from Penrith was entertaining on Saturday; Red House boys not quite the drinkers they think they are, and scared to have a slash in Hetton in case they got kissed, or worse, by the locals, is the way I heard it. Still a canny point from a long trip out.

The Ernie Armstrong Cup was a big disappointment though, poor display, and more people watching from up here than down in the ground. Ozo was gutted I could tell. More advertising needed I reckon.

Stop press: What happened at Brandon?!?

February's view

So are freelance gate welders standard issue in these parts? Or is everybody round here nuts?

Is it believable? That someone, who holds an apparently responsible position, should send men round to weld gates together so balls can’t be collected when they go over fences; give me strength, Lord, give me strength.

Don’t let the b******s grind you down, but do let them grind the gates open, that’s what I say.

Enough already, back to the excitement on the field; great win over Prudhoe, they’ll be wondering what’s happened in the last few weeks; good show, but honourable defeat against a top Spennymoor side, with all the fans wanting Defty’s autograph and him pretending he’s shy, and then a great win away to North Shields, which me and the other horizontal lads missed obviously, but was a very good show I hear.

Manager reappears, ahem, ahem, and then goes spending money like it is going out of fashion, while Ozo goes crackers over an upcoming cup quarter final (we’ve won one game by the way), the first in Ryhope’s history the way he tells it. And now just when the locals are primed like Nelson’s cannon, one home game in a month. Have to sell some pies there then.

Let’s not be too cynical though, things are looking up at last, and here’s something you won’t know, but us graveyard lads do; that’s a bonny lass who’s drawing the plans for the new clubhouse. Not that anybody else sees her; the large lad brings her round on afternoons when even the boss is not there, wink, wink!

January's view

Happy New Year. Sorry for the lack of a December edition of these post dated musings, but I just got too carried away with the football!

December's four games, three wins, ten goals, and a Boxing Day crowd of over 100 was too much for me, I had to have a long lie down, for a bit of a change. Are the good times back at Meadow Park? Well, at least we can touch the second bottom team now, which was looking a big ask a few weeks ago, although two defeats earlier in the season to that same second bottom team, Alnwick, look like big results now. Who said it's better to go all that way up north in September rather than freeze your b******s off in January? Would we love a trip to nearly-Scotland now? If only, and not as if I would be going, but ancient history.

18 games left, and five points to make up on third bottom as a minimum target. Looks like seven or eight wins at the least from the 18 to me, and the sooner we get them the better. The funny thing is that, although we have a lot of games left against sides at the bottom of the table, Alnwick excepted of course, our best performances and results have come against sides much higher up: five goals in two games against Shields obviously, but a double over Guisborough as well. And everybody else down near the foot is going to be scrapping for their lives just like us, so nothing can be taken for granted, except the need to fight for every loose ball and make every tackle count. But it looks to me as if the boys are up for it. Should make for good entertainment, so maybe we can keep the crowds coming as well. Rumour is the boss is so excited he is talking about getting pies in the clubhouse!

Yours in anticipation.

November's view

A win, a win at last! And against a team who had just won three off the belt. When the woodwork was rattled twice I thought it was going to be the same old story but no, a good cross, a good header, ten minutes scary defending and there you are, three points, and fifty quid for half a 'Performance of the Week' award because Whitley Bay feel sorry for us. Not sure we should be happy about that, but we'll have the money thanks.

Then somebody turned the lights off at Thornaby, which gets a suspension out of the way and gives a couple of sore hamstrings a precious few extra days, are things looking up I wonder? Well, three games in seven days over the next week should tell that tale.

Plenty of upheaval in the league right now, so a good time to go on a bit of a run, let's go for it!

Enough enthusiastic optimism already, back to basics, so where does Harry find these army teams from to play the young'uns? Funniest looking under 18's I've ever seen, the little corporal at the back had three grandbairns watching!

What was the big do like? Bit difficult for me and my mates to get there obviously, but it sounded like a good night. I remember Paddy Crerand when he could play, or at least could pick his mates well; here you George, go and have a run about with this, and Denis will put it in the net when you get bored, or spot a bird in the crowd. I reckon I could have played for that Man. U side!

October's view

George Kinnell, I don’t think this was in the fat lad's plans!

Rock bottom, and gazing up the league. In some ways it wouldn’t be so bad if we were getting murdered every week, but it seems like it’s always the same old story, last minute screamer, or header from needlessly conceded corner, takes points away to somewhere murky in the backwaters of the North East, while assorted traveling fans celebrate in the clubhouse. Hard to take, but at least the takings are up.

Good crowds as well, is this people from the CW happy to see us get beat, or would there be even more if we were winning? Lets try and find out, eh?

Who moved those signs? We know but we’re not telling just yet. Only need say on top of everything else, now we have neighbours with screwdrivers to deal with. And the new gate isn’t popular either; clever move that, putting a gate in with no path to it, and then never opening it anyway.

New faces clearly needed, and two there for the Esh game, looked like canny defenders as well, and maybe more to come. Through it all the skinny kid up front has been scoring anyway, so if we tighten up we should start to get somewhere. Here’s hoping!

September's view

Slight delay with this month’s view, just catching me breath you know after last month…

Tremendous turn out for Alan Thompson’s game, but the late equaliser for the Colliery told a tale, Then, 8-0 and 5-2 defeats, only saw the second one myself obviously, but it looks like we might have a crisis at the back, then two clean sheets and a performance of the week award, I’m getting confused! And that was only the first couple of weeks.

Four home games in a row, and faces that haven’t been seen for years turn up out the blue to see what’s going on, and not just the wandering fireman. Cruising a game against Seaham, then throw away two points at the death, which always causes upset round here. Worse away at Shields, and finally I’m watching the boys play, the ref keels over in the second half, and someone takes advantage of the confusion to pinch a box of Graham’s Mars Bars and some balls. This will bring the fans back! But evidently the ref is not joining us lads just yet.

It’s a lot busier round the ground nowadays that’s for sure. More games with the boys playing as well, and good crowds for games, even if most of them sneak past Ronnie waving a bit of green paper and claiming to be the away team’s kit man. Funny Alnwick having a kit man who drinks in the Top Club, but there you go.

But what about the lights? ‘What lights?’ you might well ask. It’s hard enough to see through the fence anyway without half the game being played in darkness, come November the players will need to carry candles unless they get things organised, and soon.

Right into the season now, this could be a big month. “Need to turn performances into results” is the football cliché I think, but every new training session brings a new face so Steve looks like he is on the case.

See you down the ground, and throw us a bit of plate pie over the fence if you get the chance.

August's view

Not long to go now! Ten days to the first league game at Ryton. The friendlies all following the same path: decent performances, but leaking late equalisers. No doubt Steve and Karl will be hoping to put that right by the real thing.

Great night against Ryhope CW on the first of the month for the Alan Thompson memorial match. Good turn out, and a tough new gateman who made nearly everybody pay to get in. Usual squad claiming “I’m with the team mate”, but he didn’t fall for it - often. Didn’t affect me of course. Still, £300 raised for local charity, so a fair night’s work by the good people of Ryhope, and Maureen Thompson and family and friends were there in force, and delighted with the money raised. Let's hope Alan raised a smile as well.

After Ryton away we have four home games in a row. Is this a good thing? It’ll look good if it works out and the lads get a flyer but, but….not sure our new secretary is up to speed yet, and Ozo is nowhere to be seen to keep him right, although I understand the chairman is trying, very trying.

The Deft obviously loves his new goal posts; they have been up and down more times than the proverbial. And the grass is nice and green, although it looks like it was cut by a drunk with hand shears at the minute.

Under 18s look a likely bunch, and Harry is keeping them close in case someone nicks them! The Durham FA pre season tournament over the next couple of weeks should tell a lot about their prospects for the season, but anyway it is good to see that the County Under 18 League will have 18 teams for this year. Some great leagues have gone in the past few years so it was important that the DFA put some real effort into getting something going for the lads, and it is good to see them getting their rewards.

July's view

July is the worst month of the year for SRCA fans, and all football fans. No football apart from the last few World Cup games, and nowt to see at Meadow Park except the Boss moving the sprinkler every now and then. At least from back here you can’t see the ‘orrible clubhouse. And in July you are always joint top.

But starting next month, it’s a new era for the club they say, new name, new partners (what you call sponsors nowadays apparently), a few new players, and big plans for things on and off the pitch. Heard it before? Aye, so have I. But lets not be pessimistic, maybe it's for real, Owen is certainly jumping up and down with excitement, and if that manky shed we call a clubhouse is replaced, that’s got to be progress.

Us lads outside the fence will be keeping an eye out and reporting back through these pages how we see it. If we can see it at all that is, there’s an ugly rumour the fence is going to be filled in, a blow for the freelance fan and deceased alike!

But for now we can see a bit of activity about the joint, a lot of pointing and waving by men in suits, and on the plus side the pre-season seems to be going well, Stevie is certainly working their socks off! And in amongst the first team lads there are a few new faces for the under 18 team which is being launched this year. Not before time I reckon; grow your own has got to be the way for little clubs like us, although maybe we won’t be a little club for much longer if the fat lad has his way.

And another thing, about time the signs and adverts were changed, new era, new name, get it on the stand son!

Enough already for the summer, keep coming back if you want the honest picture as the season unfolds, this column will always tell it like it is. You know it makes sense!