Well, well, well, new machinery!
A ride on mower no less. Deft and Scone like pigs in the proverbial. Do the council boys know? Could cause a bit of paranoia up at the Welfare this, especially if a little bird tells Ronnie the council bought it for the club because they were sick of all the whinging. Which isn’t true of course, but what the hell, never let the facts get in the way of a good story.
And the ground does look well you have got to say. Not that anybody has been allowed to run about on the pitch of course, oh dear me no! Deft already trying to postpone matches in August so I hear, worried about stress on his new grass. Might allow a nice game of croquet. Mr Golightly will be pleased, he still thinks it's 1948, all the pitches are crap so you might as well play no matter what, you can’t spoil it. And his sidekicks with the tape measure were out the other day, but short handed because of the floods stopping the buses. Did they allow 12 feet for the slope when they measured the pitch?
So what about the team? Doesn’t look like many changes to me, must be trying to finish a solid fourth again. Not normal to have the tallest lad playing outside left mind, and everybody seems very pleased to have signed a new striker, very pleased that is considering he’s on crutches...
Big meeting the other night down at the clubhouse, all the head lads there; you could tell the manager was taking it serious, he turned up looking like he had just come off the beach, and only one person got their hands on a drink by the way, and it wasn’t the fat lad. The new secretary, sorry first team secretary, got lumbered with the legendary briefcase, somebody said "there’s everything you need in there mate”, so no wonder he was walking very crooked as he left the ground.
First up against the new boys from Carlisle, inflatable sheep at the ready just to make them feel at home? Bound to bring a few though, most exciting thing to happen in Carlisle since old ball juggler Knighton left town.
Anyway, so here we go again, don’t worry I will keep you right, just another eight months of looking through the fence, trying to work out who they have signed this time, listening to the little Scotsman shouting and bawling, playing better up the slope than down, losing balls over the side every five minutes, watching pies getting fetched in and never getting a sniff, and then wondering what went wrong and how come we just missed out again.
Or maybe not, maybe this time next year Rodney...