So the nominations for BBC Sports Personality of the Year are out, and not a racing driver, horse riding or resembling member of the royal family, or indeed horse known as the latest new Red Rum, in sight. Even the regulation tennis player managed to win something. It must have been a disastrous year for British sport. Has nobody managed an unlucky second in a Grand Prix? Where are the usual tennis failures? Has that bloke with the pipe packed in playing bowls? Surely we have one horizontal heavyweight to our name? Must have been damn near impossible for the committee to come up with an appropriate list with nothing but a load of gold medal winning, Ryder Cup retaining, mountain climbing on a bike riding, top class, world dominating winners to pick from. Its damn unEnglish if you ask me.
Only the nations footballers flew the flag for the national sport of losing. And as usual made a real good job of it. Stumbling through the Euros group stage before clinging on to a goalless draw in the quarter final and then taking penalties as if they were the aforementioned new Red Rum, though not as capably of course, Rummy could strike a ball they say. A bonus point if you can name the two turkeys who hoofed it away this time? See below.
So, instead we face a full night of telly sport with nothing but constant videos of winners waving to ecstatic crowds, and not a plucky loser to be seen. Suppose we will have to vote for someone though, so where should the X go? Mo or Jessica are no doubt favourites, and rightly so, alongside the miserable scotsman, less rightly so, and I have a soft spot for Rory, but he will get plenty more chances, so my vote, if I can manage to make one, will go to Bradley Wiggins, for his sideys if nothing else. And of course superhuman feats of endurance over a full three weeks in the heat of a French summer, including going up mountains that are hard work in a car, never mind on a bike.
Yes, Brad will do for me. Although on second thoughts, the other sportsman who has put himself in my mind this last week or two is worth considering. Has the Crafty Cockney ever won it? No? You amaze me. Can we start a write in campaign for Eric, the smoking star of the jungle? Has anyone ever flighted an arrow with such grace? Well possibly not, I say, but maybe his chance at the big time has gone, shame. But at least he will beat David Haye, a classic British loser, although a nice bloke it looks like. Oh, and it was an Ashley double act, Cole and Young.